Title: One beast in Kepong - First Outing Without Rain?
#Blog 1
Back from Macau, Three years of waiting, gone in one spin of the wheel. Just like that. Tonight I must drink, must smoke. Free man already. Free like a bird but even birds cant fly straight.
Kepong pub, my temple. Outside, a brand-new TV hanging from a lamp post, shining brighter than my future. Wah, the street also get VIP lounge. Tonight I tell myself: I will sing. Must scream like Linkin Park. "I've become so NUMB!" But my voice? already more goat dying than Chester Bennington.
Inside-ambush. A full squad of Good Morning, Vietnam. Perfume thick like mosquito fog. Fake Prada, fake Nike, Only the silicon breast genuine. Under disco lights, the look like models. After beers, more like my ex's aunties. But drunk? Who cares.
And the grandfathers. White hair shinning with Tiger Balm, dentures flashing under disco ball. Slippers on, bellies six months pregnant with Tiger twins. Shirts open like broken curtains. Arms around girls like pasar malam handbags. Forget Beauty and the Beast, this was Grandpa Belly and the Beast.
"Hi handsome, tonight you're mine," she says, kissing me. Only sweet because I had Fisherman's Friend my mouth. "No tipping other girls. I'm watching."
Great. Babysitter from hell.
Six bottles of Heineken gone in twenty minutes. Suddenly May looks like Scarlett Johansson. Beer, the cheapest Photoshop for the soul. Then she purrs:
"You credit card, please. One dozen tequila shots."
Swipe. RM200 gone faster than my dignity.
*Tiger balm wasn't an ad. Just heartbreak, heartbreak tastes better than Five Guys burger. Take a break, have a burger.
Then boom, lights snap on.
A squad storms in. Blue hulks, guns on hips, boots shinning like Mario Kart power-ups. The pub freezes. Everyone looks like National Geographic, predators caught mid-hunt.
The officer shouts:
"IC check! Locals here, Good Morning there!"
Girls scatter under tables, behind speakers, into toilets. One even dived behind the new TV.
Me? Still shaking my butt like John Travolta, though, honestly, more like Johnny 'Hurt'. Too drunk to care.
They scan my IC, wave me off. Then they roll down the shutters. My heart thinks, Wah, they're locking us in. But no, these hulks had other plans.
One hours later, shutters roll up. The squad marches out carrying the brand-new TV like a war trophy. My best friend of the night, kidnapped in front of my eyes.
I stumble to the mamak. 9 p.m., only, already heartbreak curfew. Teh tarik in hand, wondering how life can go so wrong.
Back Inside, I ask the manager. "Can continue?"
He shakes his bald head. "Better don't, boss go mamak."
So what did I get tonight? Lost Rain in Macau. Lost money. Lost my TV buddy. Only May counting my wallet, me exes waiting on speed dial, and my voice destroyed by Linkin Park.
One Beast in Kepong.
My first night without Rain
What a Wonderful World...... by Loius Armstrong.